identifying deception

this is a blog that is going to chronicle my journey. my greatest hope is that it will help someone along the way. i've spent my entire live learning to be a master of deception. the deceptions started with myself. i am a christ follower, so i cling to my faith that out of this too shall come redemption.

this first post will be short, so let me explain the title. i've spent that past 7-10 years teaching on what it means to be "identified" with something, namely Christ. i've also always had a fascination with superheroes and their ability to maintain two separate lives and stay sane. the phone booth for me represents both the good and the bad.

i know i have been called by God. so, in that sense, listening for the call and seeking to answer it has been the cry of my heart for quite a while. however, the phone booth also represents where the superhero sheds the costume and becomes the "hero" that saves the day. emotionally, i've been stuck in the phone booth for far too long.

honestly, i don't know who will emerge from the shattered glass and bent steel as i seek to break free from the prison that has encased me. i do know this. i WILL fly from this phone booth. i will emerge from these experiences as one who walks closer to God and makes wiser decisions.

i know you are asking what in the world i'm referring to... what is the "secret struggle" this christian has carried around? well, in short, i am a person that grappled with attraction to other guys from a very young age but denied it, found himself in an abusive situation at the explosive age of 15/16, was shamed into silence by those in authority at the church where all this took place, learned to deceive myself that liking guys was not really an issue, married a beautiful woman with whom i have two young children, and now find myself dealing with trying to find out who i really am. the story is very complex, so i'll leave it at that.

i invite you to join on this journey with me.